From the NOW I’VE SEEN EVERYTHING Department.. The Mongol Guinea Pig

Lori Knight-Whitehouse, spouse of Howard “Mexican Jack” Whitehouse, recently brought the mongol armored Guinea Pig Armor on Ebay to my attention.

Yes, there’s someone who made a complete scale mail suit for their guinea pig out there. That’s love, I guess. Apparently the subject guinea went the way of all flesh recently and now the owner is selling the armor for charity.


The armor appears to be modeled after Mongol Heavy infantry but I admit I’m not up on Pig Armor and I’m sure there’s an authority out there to contest my judgement.

Here’s a little from the listing itself:

his auction is a charity auction for hand-made guinea pig scale-mail. (You’ve read that correctly)

Is your pet guinea pig tired of wandering around the house unarmored and vulnerable? Do they get picked on by other guinea pigs? Has your guinea pig ever wanted to go with you to a Renaissance Faire but had nothing to wear?

Fear not! A solution is here!

This hand-made scale-mail and tiny steel helmet will keep you guinea pig protected and secure in all situations. The scale-mail is made from polished steel scales and steel rings. It was painstakingly “woven” by me over several weeks in an effort to better prepare my guinea pig Lucky for the dangers of the modern world. The helmet was purchased at a Renaissance Faire later as it was the perfect finishing touch.

Lucky mostly wore his armor to begrudgingly pose for photos – once on top of a remote-control jetski. Don’t worry – he never rode the thing in the water… I don’t think he would have had the balance.

Lucky passed away this weekend, and no longer requires his noble suit of armor. In his honor and memory, any money from this auction (after Ebay fees) will go to the Metropolitan Guinea Pig Rescue in Virginia. Lucky was adopted from the organization, and they’re a fantastic group who do all they can to find, foster and adopt (to others) Guinea Pigs in the northern Virginia area. You’ll see them on this auction as a 100% donation – it’s not a hollow promise 🙂

Please bid high and bid often!



Again, if you’re safety conscious about your guinea pigs and can’t stand the thought of sending them into battle without proper protection, THIS IS THE AUCTION FOR YOU.

At a current bidding price of 1,050 USD, it’s getting too rich for my blood. I guess my guinea pig (if I had one) would be light infantry (perhaps a slinger). Good thing I can’t stand the benighted little things.. I don’t think I’ll ever find out.