Joe Bodolai

Joe Bodolai

Joe Bodolai, from his blog

Joe Bodolai was a writer, television producer and comedian. He wrote for SNL in the post-Jean Domanian years and actually saw the script that came back with her writing “Make it funnier” at the top. His SNL experience is nicely chronicled on BlogTalkRadio.  After SNL he went to Canada and produced THE KIDS IN THE HALL for Lorne Michaels. For a while, things went well for him. He moved to LA and he tried to represent Canadian comedians (successfully for the most part). Things stopped happening for him, and he spiraled downward into alcoholism and depression. He chronicled his life and his decision to kill himself on his own blog on WordPress.

If you have a moment, read this post.  It’s fairly breezily written and attempts to keep the subject light, but it is clear that Bodolai was in a lot of pain and just didn’t want to live any more.  It’s incredibly poignant to read the following bullet points under the heading “Things I Regret”:

  • My inability to conquer my alcoholism
  • The things I did because of it
  • Leaving Canada
  • Moving to Los Angeles
  • Not fighting harder or making a better deal to stay with The Comedy Network I helped create
  • Not being able to live up to the helping hand so many wonderful people offered me
  • The hurt I caused in my family, friends, and maybe even strangers.
  • That I am no longer able to withstand any more of life’s pain
  • Most of all, the pain I have caused and am now causing my sons and the love of my life, my ex-wife Bianca, my love and connection with her is infinite
  • The fact I will never get to repay the love and generosity you all deserve
  •  Lisa.

Seriously.  Take the time to read it.   I don’t normally dwell on the morbid on this blog, but there was something about the way that Bodolai chronicled the disappointments in his life that stuck with me after reading it.  Was it exhibitionism?  Was it ego?  Make up your own mind.  It’s a good read.

One week after his long, rambling and chatty blogging suicide note, Bodolai checked in to a hotel and prepared a lethal cocktail of Gatorade and Anti-Freeze.  That had to be a painful way to go.

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