Pulp Caption #8 was from Marvel Science Fiction, May of 1952!
Gary Christiansen – “Now these drops will dilate your pupils… hold still Walt.”
David Fox – “She may have seen the Face of Evil, but I have the Eyelashes of Ziti!”
Jason Schmidt – “Gary Coleman gets creepier by the day.”
“I Was a Teenage Stripper Optometrist.”
“Carla was entranced; who knew a burn victim could be so damned sexy?”
Peter Card – “Yzrgegghklikiki the Defiler of Innocence would entertain the night shift as they hosed down the machinery and picked out the larger body parts for reclamation by playing bootleg porno on his corneal implants, with a direct feed from the Circle of Lust, two stops further in. The De-Evisceration crew were avid fans of “Everyone Snuffs Lucy”
Bill Ramsay – “Objects in pupil are closer than they appear”.
Jonathan Gingerich – “AP’s new graphic approach to hills and depressions generated an immediate buzz.”
Charles Vasey – “Morris’ career in window-cleaning got off to a rocky start with the vicar’s wife.”
Robin Griller – “When Mark saw her with a copy of the new Advanced Starter Kit in her hand, he knew Satan had taken her soul.”
Todd Goff – The Ancient One only has eyes for you.
Ian Wedge – Yog-Sothoth’s career as a voyeur got off to a bad start when he immediately forgot the basic rules – dark glasses and sideways glances.**** SECOND PLACE ****
Karen Spurny – Tabitha’s come hither looks would totally have worked, but the pheromones just weren’t right.
Joe Steadman – Late Sunday night, (Monday morning to be exact) after her initial shock, Annette gave her husband a real chewing out… “Gary, did you sleep at Origins at all?, she asked in disgust…. Your getting to old for that. Now come here and let me get you some eye drops.**** THIRD PLACE ****
Matt Foster – “I know you’re a Lizardman, but is ‘Niiiith tiiiiith’ the best you can do?’ These things cost me $6000!”
Klaus Knechtskern – “You should see ophthalmologist really soon, otherwise you will suffer irrecoverable loss of eye sight due to that Alamein maps…”
Peter Stein – “I don’t know about dyeing my hair pink, but if that’s what turns you on Mr. Robinson. . . “
Otto Schmidt – “Bbrlp knew that this time Bess Budge would be HIS and Xxocchi would have to settle for Sally Frederick and be happy about it or else be sent on his way to a quick unification with the overmind.”
“Hey Mr. is that a tentacle in your pants or are you just happy to see me.”
“Madge resolved at that moment that she was finished with internet dating services.”
“As she tried to stifle the scream from her her lips she thought of her mothers words– “He’s a nice man, a good man, a fine catch—“**** FIRST PLACE ****
“Guess who’s coming to dinner!?”