The Steel Bonnets and the English Cows


Lindsay Gauld ran a fun little game that was conveniently moved from the Distelfink up to the back room of the bar on Saturday night. He had run it in the morning but this was an invitational only game for myself and few other of Lindsay’s pals.

The situation was that we (the Brave, Homeland-Defending Scots) were in a small village with our captured cows. The English were coming to take them back. Most of our command (in small groups of 2 soldiers with 1 leader each) were asleep, with one designated guard. The English approached in the snowstorm, rendering long distance vision moot….

The rules, called Keep It Plain, Fast and Simple, Stupid (KIPFASS) are pretty good… simple enough but with some good depth. About a page and a half.

That’s Nick “Eureka” Robson, setting up his guys.


The British Approach. I was on the right hand side, at the very edge of the town. Del Stover (a player) and one other guy approach on the right, trying to advance under the cover of buildings. I’m in the last building.

Meanwhile, one of our Scots leads away the cows. He can’t lead them offboard but he can make it very dificult for the Brits to regain the cows in time.

Nic Robson sets up a volley on the second level of his house. I’m firing at the Brits from the front,and setting up an ambush for Del’s Brits coming up on the back…

Ewwww… what’s the smell in the air? It’s the English! My leader figure lures them our way… into..

… this ambush!! EAT LEAD, YOU SUCKERS!!!!!

I nonchalantly lean out the window, put a pistol in a trooper’s ear and pull the trigger.

The fellers plot strategy, with that all-important accessory in their hands..

Nic blasts away with a volley he had waiting or several turns. Alas, by this time the English were capturing the cows and retreating.

Unfortunately the scurvy dogs did in too many Scottish patriots.. those of us who remained unscratched (Nic and Myself) but we couldnt’ get in range before end of game.

So we called it a British Victory,and drank more beer, and watched the kids play Squigg ball on the pool table:

The guys playing Phalanx’s new NAVAL WAR were at least moderately amused. Note to self, bring more boardgames to the next con.

Here’s some guys playing METRO, the great connecting tiles game from France. I know the longhaired guy, Grant, who works at my local Starbucks. I felt guilty sneaking him a beer (people were buying me way too many), but it turns out he’s over 21. Pheeew.

And as often happens after a game on Saturday night… we were up til three AM solving the problems of the world (and HMGS). P.J. looks like he’s asleep, but he’s really just meditating.